The Chief Shyster is proud to announce the release of Liquid ASSets. This latest evidence is proof of your conviction for hot and now "insanity" will be your only defense. Made from the hottest peppers on the planet, a volatile spice and The Chief Shysters secret ingredient, Liquid ASSets will set your courtroom on fire. As The Chief Shyster describes it himself, "5 seconds on your tongue and the first thing to happen will be loss of auditory motor skills similar to turrets syndrome followed by a feeling that you have stopped breathing. Then the peppers hit and blow out the back of your head". This is by far the hottest of all and will be a collectors item like many of Judicial Flavors other sauces have become. These limited edition bottles are numbered and signed by The Chief Shyster himself. Your wealth will increase once you have Liquid ASSets on your docket.
Court's Verdict - Execution!
Ingredients: Red Savina Pepper Extract from Africa, a Volatile Spice and The Shysters Secret Ingredient.
*Red Savina Pepper ("in The Guinness World Book of Records") is the hottest pepper on the planet. It's twice as hot as regular Habanero Pepper, 65 times as hot as Jalapeno Pepper and just one gram can cause detectable heat in 1,272 pounds of sauce.
DISCLAIMER:
The Chief Shyster requires your acknowledgment of a disclaimer before Liquid ASSets can be released into your custody. Therefore, you are required to read and agree to the product disclaimer at the time of check out. You must agree to the terms below and print your name in the Release Liability box. By printing your name in the box you are stating that you are over 18 years old, of sound mind and accept full responsibility to follow special instructions and precautions below when handling Liquid ASSets once in your possession.
Terms and Conditions:
While purchasing a product entitled Liquid ASSets, should serve as universal warning, the following serves as further notice. By taking possession of Liquid ASSets, the purchaser hereby acknowledges that with sound mind, that this product purpose is primarily one of collection and as far as bodily consumption, would be approached as a food additive. Should purchasers decide to break the seal of Liquid ASSets, its initial intake should be done with a toothpick. In addition, the purchaser acknowledges that there will be no distribution to children, small furry animals, big furry animals, furless animals and ones inner child if still nursing angry childhood issues. Use, therefore, is entirely at the purchaser’s risk.
To order you must agree to the terms and acknowledge that you have read and understand the instructions for handling and use.
$99.95
Instructions for Handling and Use:
Handling - During processing some of the Liquid ASSets product may have come in contact with the outside of the bottle. When handling bottle gloves should be worn at all times. After handling it is mandatory that you wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water. Make sure that bottle is sealed completely and transported in a safe manor.
Use - This product is extremely hot and the strictest of care during use should be considered. The intention of Liquid ASSets is solely to be a collectors item and not intended for human consumption as a condiment. The product should be considered as a food additive and not consumed directly as a hot sauce. Please be acquainted with food processing and use of food additives before you begin as it takes only a few drops in this extremely concentrated form. If you are inclined to sample Liquid ASSets it is highly recommended that you follow these instructions. Prepare a tall glass of milk and two pieces of buttered bread. Stick a toothpick into the bottle about 1/8 inch and set the bottle down. Touch the toothpick on your tongue and in about 5 seconds enjoy the cruel and unusual punishment. To extinguish just eat the bread and soak your tongue in the milk bath.
Caution - May cause sweating, itching, minor skin irritation, blistering, rash, eye irritation, temporary or permanent blindness, sneezing, coughing, shortness of breath, respiratory difficulties, heart palpitations, stomach irritation, ulcers, gastronomical discomfort, vomiting, convulsions, death and could have many other side effects unknown to man.
***Do not touch or ingest if you are pregnant, under the care of a physician, have any pre-existing medical conditions or allergies***